tuesday, nov. 1, 2005 - 5:12 pm

someone asked me about reflecting on "life in everett station," before it gets too far in the past, and i feel inclined to write a little bit about it. also, i am showing there on thursday, this week, for what will probably be the last time.

the everett station lofts was an exciting place to move into 2 and half years ago. at the time, i knew nothing about the portland art scene, and my main interests were playing around with painting, but mostly writing fiction and experimental things (reports, essays, absurdities, poems, short stories, etc.). but i had been painting for a few years by the time we moved in, and also had sold most of what i had done on the street at first thursdays which provided enough extrinsic affirmation to make me believe that i should keep painting. (something i am currently trying to strip away from my own psyche, in different ways.) harvest and i had lived for two years atop "la luna," also known as the pine street theater when it still had shows, and so while we were excited to move into everett station, we also felt like we had *some* experience living in a "cool place." nonetheless, i was wide eyed, and ready to jump into the whole scene that consisted of 3/4 of a city block in the city i loved. there was no fear of the 8 different half way houses full of sex offenders and crack heads. it was all about broadway, walking up and down, circulating to the galleries, and getting to know everyone. we had a housewarming party where i first met people like daniyel hicks, who i thought looked like a cool artist guy and i hoped i could become friends with him. he had a small bottle (not a flask, but a bottle) of whiskey, and half finger gloves, a hat and his black rimmed glasses, and he smiled and was genuine. daniyel would soon become one of my best friends, and someone who i know i will always be able to count on as though he is a brother, despite the fact that he is busier than a queen bee in spring, and i do mean that literally and metaphorically and in many other ways, but not in any sort of way calling him a queen, although he wouldn't be offended by that. also at that party were several other artists and peeps from around town. i learned the other night that gavin shetler attended, and i met him there, but totally forgot that. ms. anne marie nafziger was there, with gavin, and i have since admired her work. DK Row was there, and i was totally intimidated by him, as harvest had just begun writing for the oregonian in the year or two prior to that and i had not been around DK much. someone criticized a painting i had on the wall, and i was like, "dude fuck you, this is my party." but later i realized, "yeah, that's why i am here." i saw that guy around in the weeks that followed, but never spoke to him again, although i wish i had. anyway, after our housewarming party, i went about the business of doing what i thought i should in terms of living in "the lofts." harvest and i had been to spain a few months earlier, and i knew the kinds of paintings i wanted to make. basically, i wanted to emulate antonio tapies, but without copying him. and i wanted to do these things while having fun with the people in the building. in many ways, i considered this new dwelling place as my own personal self teaching art school. there was an immediate conenction to 12 or more galleries, their art, their curation, their thoughts, their lives. i could poke around and see what was what. i loved it. and i could work on my own stuff all the while. i connected with people like michael brendle, who is a supremely awesome guy and i convinced is literally like a ken kesey enlightened individual. he ran the shift gallery and was very generous with me. also met jessica small who runs the pause gallery. she is simple a good person, and has a great eye for fresh art. jess had a show with nic walker, and i basically decided that nic walker was my new icon. (note: current icons are brad adkins and harrel fletcher.) nic had the luxury of a "history" with "the building." the dead deer thing gets thrown around all the time, and as much as he liked that attention from it, i think he always wanted to move on. i don't know though, i never asked him about it, because i didn't want to ask "that question." but hands down, in my opinion, nic walker is just a great artist. i would see him wandering the streets in the rain, dumpster diving for art supplies, and i would give him a ride, and we'd check out a few dumpsters together, and i would then say that iw as collaborating with nic walker. (i sold a painting in the disjecta auction recently (the silent auction) and it was on a door that i found with nic in a dumpster in old town. which means that, yes, it was a piece that was from my period of collaboration with nic walker.) anyway, nic was a great guy, and i wish he had stuck around portland. i have searched for him online at times, but i just picture him wandering around in the fog of cape cod, wondering which scraps will make a nice composition. ah, also, i had a painting hanging at someone's place in the building, and they told me that nic had seen it, and looked at it for quite awhile and said he thought it was really great. for me, this was a huge bit of encouragement. a few months after nic's show at jessica small's pause gallery, i had a show there as well. (this came after harvest's show there too, which was great.) for this show, i made a giant painting that just fit the wall. my hope was to turn some heads and say, "here i am, please let me into your party, i'd like to play with you all on your toys, with your art, with your minds, and be a part of what it means to be an artist in portland." along with the big piece were 12 small pieces that i called studies for the big pieces. all 12 sold, for 80 bucks a pop. the big piece, with a 10 thousand dollar price tag, did not sell. it now hangs in the library of the school i work in. all 12 ft by 15 ft of it. i know what it means to make big art, and the correlations that go along with male artists making big art, and whatever. it's what i like looking at when i go to galleries and museums, and so i decided long ago to write and make what i like, and why not? (though i am currently continually honing exactly what that is, what i like...) anyway, after that show, i was sort of at a loss. what was it like LIVING in everett station? isn't that what i am writing about? it was fun. there was a group of people going out every night of the week. karaoke, crazinness, etc. tiger bar was across the street, and everyone in the building knew everyone who worked there and most of the people who went there. for about a year, for me, "the lofts" had a fresh college dorm feel to them, but in a good way. (near the end, i satrted referring to it as "too college dorm-ish," which is obviously in a bad way.) crystal williams, an established poet and then prof at reed was our neighbor, and she was super smart. but on our other side was kirk woods. in my time at everett station, he was the most consistent and prolific artists who lived there. he wakes at 4:30 or so every day and makes art until he heads to work. his loft is a mad house full of stuff, and he basically creates amazing sculptures from found objects in what i would call a style similar to miro, but slightly less abstract. on top fo that, kirk was always super friendly, generous with his help, and a great guy. kirk woods is definitely the backbone of the lofts, he's been there for like 12 years and i expect him to be there for at least another 12. good luck kirk. (others who stand out in my memory from the building, the kids at starling, bonnie heart clyde, pepe (who lived in the place before us), vincent of course at genuine imitation, frank, lauren, dave, roy, heidi, the generous amy dieterle, pete and sara, the ogle kids, the freedom box kids.) so, after the Pause show, i talked to michael brendle and he agreed to show my art in his Shift Gallery. (Harvest and i always called him michael shift.) he seemed to like the paintings i was doing, and i think he was pretty disappointed when i decided to show pieces that were more object oriented. (i was going for sort of absurd dada things, but with a certain aesthetic.) but, it was fun, and he was generous as well. of the 10 pieces in that show, the four paintings that were shown sold. (one was in the tree out front.) of the other 6 objects, 1 sold. i only mention that because it sort of speaks to what was successful in that show, even though i am trying to get away from that. anyway, another month later i was in epitome, nicky kriara's space. for this show, i leaned forty 2 by 4's on the wall and challenged people to open their minds. i thought that if a person didn't accept it, then they were really short changing themselves in life. i guess is till think that for people who totally discount things like that, but whatever. that show was when i was starting to really hope that jeff jahn would stop by and mention me in his NW Drizzle column. he stopped by, smelled the wood, was friendly, and gave it a mention. and this kind of extrinsic reward fueled me again. forget that i was onto something with the show, and that i still think i could develoo it somehow...it was over, and it got a mention. but i mention that because ithink it was a moment of living in "the lofts" where i was thinking, 'yes, this is what it means to move up the ladder.' and i don't know what to think about that now. i mean, it was fun, and i think jeff jahn has a lot of great things to say and write about portland and art...but i just think that for me, at the time, it was way more of a milepost than it really should have been. a few months later i got some more press after a show at brodie large's residence gallery, this time in the willamette week, and again it was, like, the best thing ever. i was on my way up and up. and again, i mention these things because they happened and i was obsessed with my name in print. i do appreciate it, but at the same time, other artists in the building are busting their asses on their shows, and doing a great job, and creating interesting pieces and environments, and looking back i guess i wish i would have been more helpful to all of them, and more integral to the shit work of all that goes into hanging shows. in the past few months, harvest had an amazing night of two shows, one the ToDo List Bed which i think is one of the better installations in portland in the past year, and at the same time was the Sod show, Greener. (note: never use sod as a medium unless you have A LOT of time on your hands, and A LOT of energy.) but aside from harvest's writing and art, both of which i think are on a path toward some very very interesting creations, i really think that, like kirk, harvest was a true icon of the lofts as a presence. and i always felt supremely proud to be her husband. it didn't take long for her to start being associated with the building, i believe. but i am not here to go off about how great harvest is. i would actually be really interested to read her thoughts on "the lofts." in the past several months, harvest and i started thinking more about having money to travel, possibly make a move to a foreign city for a grad program or something, and so we set our sights on a move out. the shelf life of it all was running thin. after 2 and a half years there, for me, it literally felt like i had graduated. new people were moving in with that familiar excitement in their eyes. new artists landing shows in gallery spaces continued to make demands on how their show would be hung, and basically, it wasn't that the honeymoon of it all was faded, because that had happened long ago, but more that there was a crossroads of remaining and continuing to soak in that kind of energy, or trying to move on to another area more condusive to focused reflection and practice. i dunno, maybe that's totally self righteous and arrogant. but it was a congruent feeling to being a senior in high school and wanting out of your small town. and so, here i am, out in eastern oregon (sellwood) sitting by a fireplace, a half acre lawn to mow, leaves to rake, a garage for a studio.....with nothing but a small amount of experience to draw on, and ideas and energy to continue developing.

i listened to tom cramer on eva lake's radio show last night, and was just humbly reminded again, as i have been again and again, that art is a slow long process, and it just takes a lot of time to develop. basically, i want to somehow find that middle path between maintaining what i now feel to be this spark of instantaneous inspiration that i get to make big huge things and meld that energy with a more drawn out process of actualizing those ideas...

everett station was a great place to swim upstream for awhile, to launch from, if you will...and i still think that some of the best art in portland can be seen there on a monthly basis (and at the very least it's one of the best parties on first thursday, especially now that gallery 500 is going away). and i will always consider ESL to be my first art school.